Monday, July 28, 2008

The Mad Milliner

I do this thing for Tracey every year on her birthday: I make her a hat. Sometimes, they're actually quite pretty (the newsboy cap made of fresh flowers). Sometimes, they're impractical but make for a funny joke (the hat made of hats). Sometimes, they're terrifically low-tech (the bubble-wrap hat). And sometimes
they're actually pretty involved.

Happy birthday to Captain Tracey of the Party Police.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

We're Number 10! Go team!

This is my first-ever season as a fantasy baseball team manager, and I'm not in dead last! In fact, I am not even second-to-dead last: my team has been 10th out of 12th for weeks now, and that's with me even forgetting to play my starting pitchers for a couple of weeks. Imagine if that happened in the majors: if Bruce Bochy just forgot to put in Tim Lincecum for a couple of weeks. The Giants would be terrible!

Oh, wait...

Anyway, fantasy baseball turns out not to be as difficult as I thought it would (assuming you're not actually trying to be a contender, which I'm clearly not), but it has highlighted a fact that's dogged me through most of my career as a baseball fan, which is that when it comes to baseball fandom, I am a statistical outlier: I pay almost no attention to the statistics of the game.

As most people know, poring over minute statistical details--WHIP, ERA, OBP--is like mana to most baseball fans. In fact, it's a sweet treat for most announcers, too--that's why it's not out of the realm of possibility to hear one announce that a particular players is, say, leading his division for stolen bases among players whose last name includes at least three vowels.

While I'm all for crazy-ass math, I am just not this kind of fan. I couldn't tell you the ERA of my favorite pitcher or the batting average of my favorite slugger. In fact, I'm not even sure I could name the Oakland A's outfield right now, and they are my favorite team. I defy you to question my devotion to them: I cut open my hand last year severely enough to require multiple stitches and didn't so much as yelp. When the A's lost the ALDS to the Twins in 2002, I wept uncontrollably for an hour in the left-field bleachers.


Rollie Fingers: 114-188 career win/loss record; 341 career saves; 2.90 career ERA; leads Hall of Fame relievers with handlebar moustaches in delinquent Wisconsin tax payments

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Hate to Vote? Don't Vote to Hate

When you consider this, this, this, and especially this, you have to wonder what kind of people have such a hard time with this, this, and this. That last photo is of a gay couple and the five children they've adopted.

Five.

Friday, July 18, 2008

E3, and Growing Up

I just attended my sixth or seventh E3--I can't remember which, but as you can tell by the scintillating news at that link (Top 10 E3 Bathrooms!), things have changed from the days when all us game journos were fighting to be the first to file stories on hot new game announcements.

Not like we were all running around with "Press" badges tucked into our fedoras, but we did actually find out about new stuff at the show, and in between that, we were hard-partying freaks who regularly got into trouble for stuff like yakking all over hotel rooms.

Not me. Other people. But you get the idea.

This year, I was at E3 for a total of two days and two nights, both of which saw me home and tucked safely into bed in my assy hotel before midnight. I even gave away the two tickets I had to see The Who at the Rock Band event.

It was a kinder, gentler me, attending a smaller, gentler event. And look: Lego Batman! Literally!

[OK, I can't upload images right now, but it's coming...]

Friday, July 11, 2008

Indentity Theft!

Oh my god! Look what's happened!

Kristen Salvatore has been stolen...and replaced by a YOUNG PERKY BLONDE! Who apparently sells houses and airline tickets! And USED CARS!



Ok, that last part sounds like me.

Sporn



I always knew boobs would make me famous:

MSNBC
USA Today